Many a time when we hear unexpected words and expressions from people whom we think, are too young to experience life situations so unexpected,far from our site too,we are emersed into a pool of philosophical thoughts.
In particular ,my state is of a child in confusion. I am unable to justify my own ignorance. I feel extremely low and childish. I wonder why such wisdom, not dorn on me though my age and so accountable experience is ,if not more atleast double to that of the speaker.
I am bewildered and have no reasons to shroud my illiteracy in learnings of life’s realities. I don’t want to elaborate my confession anymore,as it will be alike eating up Cadbury chocolate without sharing with you. Therefore instead of beating around the bush,it would be good if I come to the point.
Last week, we celebrated my daughter’s marriage anniversary. It being a working day,the environment at home was extraordinarily “lack enthusiasm “.
My contribution was nil .
On the eve, I was rather perplexed as to how could the day be made a special one. The morning woke me up early. I thought, if not anything ,I could send them good wishes and blessings on WhatsApp identity. I prayed for them and extended my blessings.
When they woke up. I also added my idea of celebration “aaj to kuch special hona chahiye.”
“Working day hai ma,sham ko kartei hain.”
I couldn’t ask for more. I kept quiet. The Sun set and day was ending.I was anxious to ask about the program they had planned.
There was some activity,I could make out as my granddaughter was now and then running from one end of the house to another while my daughter was instructing her to “keep away”.
Soon I was asked to come for the cake cutting event. I was surprised to see the beautiful decorations with balloons.
There’s always a touch of professionalism visible on every occasions though my daughter hasn’t ever acquired a training. The event followed. The two were busy in taking snaps to create memories while I was satisfied to see the couple participating together . My eyes were capturing the items in the table.which was ethnically spread.
There was no work left to do for me next morning.Everything was already sick and span
There was a big cake,topped with the cutout of the couple of the evening .small pots of plants, bouquet and box of cookies sent by my son and daughter in-law . Colorful balloons hung neatly on the edge if table. After snapping of pictures, the cake cutting followed. The first piece was shared by allowing us. A few more photos followed. Suddenly my daughter said “bahut bhook lagi hai!”
I was awaiting for food too.
What special do we have today?” I asked.
“Food order karna hai.”
Hearing this my hopes despaired. It was already past 9pm. But service was faster than expected. Soon I was in bed without giving a second thought to the need of helping in cleaning work.
Next day as I scrolled my Facebook page,I saw pictures of last evening’s celebration at home. Together with it I found a note written by my daughter. And as my eyes moved from one line to the next, my thoughts got stuck to one of its quoted line, “After the last guest has left and the marquee lights are out, that’s where a marriage begins”
.
I couldn’t move further. I was overwhelmed with appreciation and applaud towards maturity and sobriety in the understanding ,embedded in it.For me that small sentence held a treasure of thoughtful gems. It seemed to echo a truth,to which inspite of my years,I had never realized.All these years,I had been a great fool,I felt. Numerous findings with new approach percolated my mind.
Whenever we attend a wedding or make arrangements for our children, last but not the least, fumble in the remembrances of that moment when we stood under the beautifully,decorated”mandap”,extremely excited for our nuptial bonds to be tied, I feel we stood in deep ignorance of its real meaning ,its rights and duties woven into it,rather thanthefestivities,customs, guests,wedding-trousseeau,mehndi-makeup,journeying honey moon destination..etc.
All these romantic events stand far away from the actual spirit of conjugal life.
We forget the essence mutual commitment, mutual consent,mutual honor , mutual understanding ,mutual sharing of everything, in possession now and in future and above all accepting each other as we are,with abilities and qualities in knowledge or beyond….
It is not only important rather essential for us to understand today that the two persons in nuptial bonds have to carry out their lives ,not their parents elders or guests. Any lacuna in thisunderstanding leads to disturbances.
Life is a social phenomenon, not an absolute one. There is interdependence in all respects. No aspect of any kind can be left on anyone ,singly to be undertaken. It is conditioned to be borne mutually.
Only when this awareness is understood ,living will become harmonious and peaceful. In absence of it,crying out to elders, accusing each other,knocking door of court etc only severes life beyond recovery.
Don’t you think our education should extend its syllabus also to make our children aware of ,their individual role in fulfilling demands of life and its fulfillment before they go for choosing a suitable partner for themselves?
Life is not an entertaining cultural event but a garland of numerous buds of challenges that are stringed to bloom together to make it a garland .
Therefore accpting it is rightly said that marriage begins” when the last guest has left and marquee lights are out
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